Category Archives: Dating site emails

Passport

Women join Saudi security forces.

Women have joined the military for the first time in Saudi Arabia.

Thirty women were recruited as privates at the Passport Department’s offices at border crossings like King Fahd Causeway and Salwa border point in the east of the Kingdom.
A recent study of Naif University for Security Sciences’ Studies and Research Center showed that Saudi women have been embarking on security work as volunteers. The study “Women Police in Arab Countries” indicated a real potential for an effective women police force in Saudi Arabia. If that were to be implemented, the study said, all segments of society should encourage it, especially as policewomen would be dealing exclusively with cases involving women, in compliance with religious and traditional ethos.
Saqr Al-Muqaiyed, who conducted the study, said that about 4,000 women have attended courses and education lectures on issues related to security, including fire extinguishing, after assistant minister of interior for security affairs had approved it.
Head of Saudi General Intelligence Prince Muqrin said that (Saudi) women play an important role within the department. “We have a group of women that every Saudi should be proud of. Their reports, analyses and suggestions are far better than a lot of the men’s,” he said.
Gen. Ali Al-Harithi, director general of prisons in Saudi Arabia, said the role of women in women’s prisons is essential. Whether they are military officials or prison guards, their tasks include preserving prisons’ and inmates’ security, as well as implementing rehabilitation programs.
Al-Harithi said female guards are trained on the job as per plans drawn by a department for training and rehabilitating prison officials. “They are trained to deal with all eventualities.” Women officials in women’s prisons arrange guard shifts, supervise rehabilitation programs for inmates, escort inmates who have to appear in court or other government departments, and they arrange for conjugal visits.
Women prison officials’ military ranks are currently limited to private and noncommissioned officer, he said, adding that there are plans to expand women’s work and duties in prisons. Women who apply for a job as a military officer must be a Saudi, have a secondary school certificate, have no criminal record and be at least 17 years old.
Samiha Al-Thaqafi, ladies’ branch director at the Passport Department in Jeddah, said she and her employees are civilians, appointed to the department by the Civil Service Bureau. Al-Thaqafi’s duties include supervising the section and monitoring the workflow “to serve women who follow up their paperwork themselves and have their paperwork processed as quickly as possible.” The section contains eight employees — some of them process paperwork and some supervise the waiting room.
In addition to having a college degree and knowledge of computers, the nature of the job requires a woman to have certain personality characteristics to work at the Passports Department. “She must have a strong character, be diplomatic, patient, and sometimes she would need wisdom and have some knowledge of other languages,” she said. “It has become necessary to have women inspectors to inspect women; for instance, at border crossing points during the Haj season to avoid the infiltration of women who have no Haj license and to discover men wearing abayas to hide from the authorities,” she added.
In Saudi Arabia, women working in the military and in security are civilians. They do not wear a uniform except in places where only women work. Some Arab countries allow military women to wear uniforms at work.
Sayedati Magazine recently did a survey and asked 100 men about women in the military. Eighty percent said the nature of the job would not affect her femininity, while 10 percent said it would, especially for those working in prisons. Ten percent said they do not care.
All men said they would marry a military woman; 90 percent said a military woman’s personality would not be reflected in her upbringing of children while the rest said it would.

Dating site emails

Carolyn Hax -Confront wife about dating site emails.

Q. Dear Carolyn: I’m married with a child and another on the way. I’ve seen a couple of emails on my wife’s phone related to dating websites. After a little investigation, it appears that there is no way to sign up to receive those emails without posting some type of profile.

I am suspicious that she is or was out looking for alternatives. I just don’t know what to do. Should I approach her or, because I don’t know for sure, just let it go? And I don’t know what I’d do if she were out there trolling, as it were. Mostly we seem happy and have a good life. I just don’t know what to think about it. — Confused

A. Given your (appearance of) happiness and “good life,” I suppose I can see why you’d consider letting it go — but how would you un-see what you’ve seen, and un-think what you’ve thought?

People do have divergent pain thresholds, and with those come different ideas of what they need and want to know. However, I don’t think intimacy is that variable; if you choose to carry on as if nothing happened, then you’re essentially deciding to coexist peacefully with your wife, but not be emotionally close to her.

Maybe that distance was there before you caught sight of those emails? If so, that can explain why a pregnant wife might risk said “good life” to look for intimacy somewhere else. It doesn’t excuse such a bizarre, selfish and flat-out moronic idea, just explains.

You don’t know what you’ll do if you find she’s being unfaithful, and that’s normal. It just means you need to give deliberate thought to what you want out of your marriage.

If you’re content to get along superficially, or, alternately, if you’re comfortable with a lot of lumps in your marital oatmeal, then you’re one of the people suited to looking the other way. I won’t say they’re rare — I think more of us are like that than care to admit it. It’s just that the ones who do it without denial, with their eyes open to the inherent risk of getting hit hard someday down the road, are indeed an unusual breed.

If you aren’t a roll-with-it risk-taker and just want to know what’s going on with your wife, want to be close, want to raise kids with a full emotional partner, and want these things knowing you don’t have any say in the outcome beyond what you bring to your 50 percent, then open your mind and confront this thing.

Specifically: Tell your wife that you saw these emails and that asking her what they’re about makes more sense than letting your imagination churn up ideas, which it has been doing a lot of lately. Maybe it’ll be that simple.

If it isn’t — if she balks, strains credulity or turns it on you — then tell her this: That you’d rather have her just tell you what she’s thinking and feeling than worry how you’ll react when you hear it. It doesn’t make sense, after all, for either of you to look ahead to cleanup or repairs till you both know what problems you face.